LATE BLOOMER

Romantic movies are a marvel, usually I can’t stand them, they make me feel more emotions than I would like to, but isn’t that what most movies make you feel. while watching the 2016 film ‘late bloomer’, a comedic and somewhat romantic, film, centered around a character who was unable to enjoy the pleasures of sex well into his late twenties, in fact he did not go through any form of puberty till he was 30 . that wasn’t what fascinated me though, yes the movie was funny, but what got to me, were my actions while watching it, most especially that fact that I smiled when the main male character finally kissed his princess.

Why did I smile? I knew how the movie was going to end, I knew what was going to happen, but I still watched it anyway and enjoyed it. i meditated on why I watch romantic movies even though I know the guy and the girl are going to end up together. why do I still sit on my couch, lie down on my bed and blush when I see them doing something cute, think about that girl I have a crush on and how I wish I could share what these characters have with her, pull my pillow close and hug it tight as a drop of stray tears finds its way down my face and get irked when one or both of them acts stupid even though I know the end is the usual cliché end for most romantic movies.

These questions keep ravaging my mind, given room to no other notion. Could it be because, I want to see the ups and downs they go through to achieve their goal to be with the one they love. Could it be because somehow they remind me of who I am or what I might have gone through? Maybe, it gives me an idea of what I want my amorous life to be like, how I want to meet the so called ‘one’ or just get lost in the fantasy of  the possibility of true love, one that my reality has denied me.

It might even be to prove to myself without a doubt that that girl I have my eyes on, is most definitely the right one even though every neuron in my body is saying no.

With so many feasibility, I kept wondering, pondering and racking my brain, for a particular logical basis, but all I got were more odds. But it is love, it’s the feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life, what else could I have envisioned.

Finally came to a conclusion, does it really matter why I  watch it, as long as it makes me feel something, something good, exciting, a feeling of bliss, ecstasy, elation, jubilation, joy, anger, euphoria, sadness. Wouldn’t that be the vital part? Its ability to make me feel? On these note I choose to see myself as a late bloomer and at my own preordained and perfect time, I will most certainly bloom. I guess that’s why I smiled, I felt some level of hope that I to, i’m going to tell my own romantic story someday.